War

 Many of the kings and queens of other kingdoms don’t care about their people, their wellbeing, surroundings, etc., some only care for how much gold they have on their safe and if they have enough food for the rest of the week. 

I’m not like that. I care for my people more than myself and if I have to go through the gates of Hades and back for their protection trust me when I say, I will. Problem here is that I’m only one. Sure, I have a king by my side but he is just getting used to the idea of ruling with his hand in mine. He understands my love for my people but surely hasn’t yet grasped the actions he has to take now with his power and I understand that he may need some getting used to. I’m alone in this. Me, a humble queen protecting thousands of citizens living in my land. It makes my heart tremble with fear knowing that my loving people are being under attack or better said, being infected by a disease called “war”.

War is a deadly disease that has been developed outside my walls but has infected some of the people in my kingdom. It spreads on the hearts and souls of those who had been tempted and blinded over madness, envy, wrath, even sometimes pride.

 This disease causes destruction, loneliness, false expectations and death. Nothing positive comes out of this, yet some sick people that have infiltrated my walls, that have slowly hidden deep inside my streets or even under them, continue to feed this virus, making it grow stronger and stronger on the hearts of innocent ones. Twisted people… Why ruin the beauty of this place? Why ruin the balance of nature? Why destroy the love that humankind has for each other? I try to speak with the founders of this mad creation, but again, I’m only one against hundreds multiplied by hundreds outside my kingdom and the ones who are slowly being infected in mine.

How many times have I dreamed of being awakened by the melody of a humming bird, walk to my balcony, look down and see nothing more than peace. To watch the children play with their wooden horses, teenagers exploring this new concept that is life dreaming more and more on what their future will be like and elders holding the hands of their soulmates. To see the love being spread over my land is the one dream I truly desire at the moment and it hurts so much for me to wake up actually shaking my pillow, hoping that dream I lose every night would tumble out.

A message to the people, of my kingdom and from beyond:

Stop with all this madness. What you’re all trying to succeed isn’t good. You’re destroying the earth and everything it’s composed of. Let me tell you all, there is no better feeling than singing with the earth. To harmonize with the movements of the rivers flow. To talk with the wind and hear her endless journeys throughout the world. If anybody really has a doubt on this just listen to the warm whispers of the mountains, none of them want you to continue spreading this “war” disease. This world is so majestic...  Do you really want to destroy all the things this earth has to offer?

Just a note to add, I know my way of looking at this may be a little childish and way over my head but it’s the only way I can look at it and not be discussed by the human race and it’s ridiculous strategies to achieve power over his same species.

Death

It’s the worst feeling. The world is spinning so fast and nothing will stop it for you to catch your breath. You have a familiar glaze, wet cheeks and scars with stories behind them waiting for somebody to notice your silent scream: “I am not ok”. At that moment death appears like an old friend.

           

Death is something so beautifully terrifying, so horribly fascinating. When madness takes over, death takes your hand and blows away the screams of the ones who don’t own a shadow.  It hugs your every curve and kisses your scars. It promises you happiness, eternal joy, no stress, no worries, no more tears… It promises you that you’ll never feel so alone in a crowded room, that claustrophobic feeling in a wide space will disappear, that fear towards the mirror will vanish. Those terrifying voices will turn into lullabies and at sleepless nights it will be your company. All of this I know for a fact, for it has held my hand and invited me to dance many times, but has slowly let me fall back and leaves me dancing alone to a silent melody.

           

Now I’m completely fine or at least that’s what I think, because the memory of deaths warm hugs still makes me shiver with curiosity. Before I was sure of my love for Gods most precious gift he has given me, I was completely destroyed and I didn’t want to be that way, but my diseases would pull me back every time I would try to fly. I wanted people to stop telling me I was pretty, nice, amazing or that I was as good as the rest of them. I wasn’t, and I honestly never will be because there will always be someone better out there. Nothing can change how worthless I felt, no matter how much I try to convince myself that I wasn’t. I’ve watched my friends leave my life. The worst part being that I felt like I deserved it. Every night, I watched the stars draw on the peaceful dark sky those wonderful and horrible memories, having flashbacks of what I’ve said and done. Asking myself what did I do to deserve that I treated myself as horribly as I do and why did I called death my savior. It feels so good yet it hurts so badly all at once. I heard the echoes of the people that meant so much to me say how much they loved me and my desperate sobs screaming at them to stop lying in response. Silly me. They loved me, they truly did, I just never loved myself.

           

I broke my chains with death. Nowadays I’m only terrified of the fact that one day I might miss its affections and warm kisses.  

But I’ll stay positive because like me, there are many more who had been deaths dance partner and have survived. All people that have passed through that, including me are all broken, damaged and surely not quite fixed yet. A lot of us have gone through hell, but you know what? We came back and stronger. We are warriors, and warriors fight.

Happiness

People are different in every single way, so it’s no surprise that everybody has a different reason to their happiness. My happiness is nothing compared to the rest of the world. My reason to smile is a boy that’s walking around freely with my heart in his hands.

            I felt so ridiculous and naked. Every time I saw him my heart would pound so loud that I couldn’t even hear my own thoughts. Every tender half-hearted smile he gave me was breathtaking, even though it only showed half of him was there. His voice would eco in my heart. That boy’s heartbeat was music to my ears. With every hug I could feel this crazy world slow down and I would transport to a place where there would only be us. Every time he would kiss my cheek I could feel my skin melt. His hands… He had the hands that I never thought would carry my heart. I know he’s like a little broken poetry, so quiet and empty. That boy has the potential to make beautiful things even though he never believes it. He is not made out of those mean words people say that hurt him or out of those expectations that he feels he would never meet. He’s made out of this fascinating combination of emotions, thoughts, ideas and feelings that I’ve never seen in anybody else. How I wish he would look pass that mirror and see what I see.

I’ll admit I was jealous of the moon, because she could tuck him in bed at night. I’ll admit I was jealous of the stars, for being his company every lonely night and driving his fears away. I’ll admit I was jealous of the sun, for giving him that good morning kiss I could never give him. Even though he was my friend I couldn’t deny my love for him. My silent screams were slowly breaking my heart, so I decided to finally fall. I’ll admit, I was scared to know where this mix of emotions might take me but I’ve never been so happy to dance so freely on the edge of this abyss.

Now our hearts beat as one. It’s not my kingdom anymore, but ours. His tears are my tears and his smiles are my reason to think this world isn’t lost. He is my happiness, he’s the reason of it all. My voice will never be enough to tell this kind of feelings to him but he can now know by my trembling hands dancing in my keyboard and joyful tears. Josh, this is only a part of everything I could never tell you.

Introduccion

  My name is Joarys Colón and  I'm 17 years old. I live in Corozal, Puerto Rico and I would like to welcome you to my blog. In this page I will be writing my thoughts about the topics given in class by my profesor Iara Segarra.    I always think that I'm living in my own kingdom so I'll warn you, there will be lots of fantastic characters and places in my writing since no matter how much I try to write a serious paper my imagination always seems to float around and ruin my every word. But don't worry, I'll try to keep most of it on my drawings or paintings.

  If you have any questions, comments or concerns please feel free to contact me. I'll gladly answer any questions and accept constructive critics.