Movies: Alice in Wonderland

             Movies can sometimes transport your mind to a place where all your problems vanish. For those two hours or so, you forget the world exists and concentrate on that story line.

               

           You can all deny it, but everybody has a childhood movie. You can be 80 years old but you’ll still scream at the top of your lungs when the first song of that Disney or Pixar movie plays. I do it… More often than I should honestly. Without realizing it, there was a movie that marked me as a child and until this day I get on my pajamas, lock myself up in my room and watch Alice in Wonderland over and over all day long. Since the “movie” topic is too extended I’m going to emphasize on that particular movie.

               

         

      When I was little, my grandmother bought me the Alice in Wonderland book by Lewis Caroll and after that I found out about the movie. At that age I loved it because of the colors and all the weird species that lived together in harmony (except for the Red Queen of course). The amazing Cheshire cat always appearing in just the right moment, The White Rabbit so… weird, The Mad Hatter so innocent and loyal, and the forever lost but hopeful Alice. I looked at the movie hoping to be Alice, one day living an ordinary life and out of the blue a bunny comes to the rescue and turning my life into an adventure.

               

        

      I stopped watching it for a while but when I watched it again it was another story. It changed me forever since I got another perspective of it besides the colors and weird creatures. It showed me that I should not be afraid to express my own personality and I should challenge my creativity, like the Cheshire cat said: “The imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality”. I’ve always been a weirdo in the eyes of the world but that doesn’t stop me from expressing it in my art work.

                

       

     

      Sometimes the little things in life are the ones who give us the motivation, courage and strength to continue with our daily lives. This is not my case, I honestly have another reason to live, but movies like this one definitely give me that extra push I need to be the person I wish to become. 

Celebrity

                Usually my inspirations in life are people who had made an impact in me. A family member, friends… But this case is different. I have one celebrity that is my motivation to keep calm in stressed times and my inspiration in every play or piece of art I create. His name is Jared Leto.

                

               Jared was born in December 26, 1971 in Los Angeles, California. Now part of my favorite band called 30 Seconds to Mars along with his brother Shannon Leto and Tomo Miličević. He’s a singer, actor, songwriter, director, producer and businessman. I’m not a major fan because of his good looks (that are undeniable), I’m a fan because of his voice.

                 

               I started listening to their songs when the “This is War” album came out. I must say, his voice shocked me. It was one of those moments when you see or hear something completely out of this world. I shivered, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. In moments when I feel like the world is on my shoulders, I gather my headphones, close my eyes and listen to his voice create a perfect melody next to his brothers. Also, his lyrics are so perfect. Somehow they seem to click with every single aspect of my life and giving me some sort of realization that I’m not alone nor lost, I’m just on my way.

               

              

             Jared Leto is all about dreams, about following them and making people believe in there selves. That's what I needed in my life, an extra push for me to fight for myself and my loved ones. He's my inspiration to become somebody, make a statement in life and change somebody’s life completely in a positive way. He was a nobody from Lost Angeles, or as he calls it “The City of Lost Souls” or “The City of Angels” that became one of the most recognized public figures of this time for his amazing work. He definitely became somebody and even though he doesn’t know about my existence, he made a change in my life. If he can live his dream, why can’t I?

               

               “Let’s promise each other that we will be brave, that we will fight for what we believe in and that we will live our dreams” –Jared Leto

Media

According to the dictionary, media means “A form communication, as radio and television, newspapers, and magazines that reach or influence people widely”. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing but people have taken it too far. I understand media if it’s a way of informing positive news, documentals, etc. but people have deformed this tool and are using it for all wrongs. To start, most of them are only informing nations about the negative news worldwide. Deaths, gunshots, bombs and war. Those are the themes mostly seen when you watch the news on your TV or pick up a newspaper. A lot of positive things happen all around the world, why emphasize on the negative ones?

The one thing that I understand even less about the media now a days is its approach towards celebrities. They inform there every step and breath. There celebrities, I get that they appear on media because that is what they do. Whether they sing, dance or act its part of their job. Even if they don’t want it to be the media is part of their living in general. But there is a limit. I don’t want to know about what color dress certain artist was wearing, who got back together after a tremendous brake up in the middle of the mall or what are there secrets to maintain there “beauty”. There are children dying of hunger, on every newspaper there should be a news on the front page saying were we can donate to help their cause or things like that, not what’s Rihanna’s favorite place to travel is (I have nothing against the such said artist, I’m just giving an example). Honestly that’s why I stopped watching TV and reading newspapers. It’s ridiculous what there publishing now a days and it sickens me that some people actually like to read/watch those kinds of news. That’s why I rather read those fantasy books most of the people hate. Maybe there fantasy but they teach me more about ethics, morals and give me a more positive impact on life itself more than actual newspapers or social media (besides the adventures and amazingly written characters on some books, obviously). 

Marrige

They say you spend your entire life trying to rewriting the first poem you ever loved. It’s impossible. That poem is a unique masterpiece that you can’t find anywhere no matter how much you try. You spend your entire life looking for that humble soul that once passed through your eyes but never had enough courage to say a single word, but sometimes, just sometimes you have had it by your side the entire time.

There is no better feeling like being lost, defenseless, tired, unworthy… and that somebody comes along and makes you feel like every single one of those sleepless nights filled with nameless poems are worth something. I knew I’d spend the rest of my life trying to draw or write something as beautiful as that encountering but I never could. Again, it’s impossible. Once you’ve experience that amazing feeling of being found, you start to live. Everything has a new perspective, a new color. You begin to feel like your life has no meaning if it’s not besides that person who saved you from darkness. You wish you unite your life with that soul in the most deep and spiritual way possible. That’s were marriage comes along.

Why not? Why not wanting to reinforce to the world that that person is your one and only true love. That you don’t wish to know about the people on the outside world because with that person, with that little broken poetry that knows your past and understands why you wake up crying in the middle of the night and still thinks you’re as beautiful with your crocked smile and watery cheeks as if you were with make-up and a white long dress… You only wish to know about that soul, the light of your heart.

I’m not married yet, but I know that the moment I say “I do” will be as beautiful as the breath and a smile in between kisses. To unite two kingdoms might be the best experience any human can have. Rule hand in hand with the one who understands your every flaw and loves your every imperfection. 

Religion

I believe. We all believe in something, it’s impossible not to. Some in God, others in some other superior force. There are people who only believe that the sun will come up every day. But the point is that they believe, and that is something.

We all need that extra push. A voice from beyond our hearts and souls to guide us through thick or thin. A force that will make us separate what’s right and what’s not. I don’t want to talk about any religion in specific because honestly that is not my thing, I don’t feel comfortable talking about it. I believe in God, not religion. I believe in faith, in following your heart. I believe in freedom, not in making somebody follow my beliefs. We should all believe in what makes us happy, feel free and alive. In something that when you’re out in the dark you feel protected and secure, to a point where you can believe that the starts were sent by that force to guide you. 

In my case, my type of faith it’s not easy, honestly I’ve come to think that following any kind of faith is hard. Every time I fail and fall in temptations I feel like I’ve betrayed the one who gave me life. But even though I’ve failed and rejected in some points in my life I’ve had to learn to keep my heart like an open window. To give and receive both trust and love. From that moment on it feels like summer. The warmth from the inside growing each and every day it’s one of the most amazing feelings you can ever have. 

War

 Many of the kings and queens of other kingdoms don’t care about their people, their wellbeing, surroundings, etc., some only care for how much gold they have on their safe and if they have enough food for the rest of the week. 

I’m not like that. I care for my people more than myself and if I have to go through the gates of Hades and back for their protection trust me when I say, I will. Problem here is that I’m only one. Sure, I have a king by my side but he is just getting used to the idea of ruling with his hand in mine. He understands my love for my people but surely hasn’t yet grasped the actions he has to take now with his power and I understand that he may need some getting used to. I’m alone in this. Me, a humble queen protecting thousands of citizens living in my land. It makes my heart tremble with fear knowing that my loving people are being under attack or better said, being infected by a disease called “war”.

War is a deadly disease that has been developed outside my walls but has infected some of the people in my kingdom. It spreads on the hearts and souls of those who had been tempted and blinded over madness, envy, wrath, even sometimes pride.

 This disease causes destruction, loneliness, false expectations and death. Nothing positive comes out of this, yet some sick people that have infiltrated my walls, that have slowly hidden deep inside my streets or even under them, continue to feed this virus, making it grow stronger and stronger on the hearts of innocent ones. Twisted people… Why ruin the beauty of this place? Why ruin the balance of nature? Why destroy the love that humankind has for each other? I try to speak with the founders of this mad creation, but again, I’m only one against hundreds multiplied by hundreds outside my kingdom and the ones who are slowly being infected in mine.

How many times have I dreamed of being awakened by the melody of a humming bird, walk to my balcony, look down and see nothing more than peace. To watch the children play with their wooden horses, teenagers exploring this new concept that is life dreaming more and more on what their future will be like and elders holding the hands of their soulmates. To see the love being spread over my land is the one dream I truly desire at the moment and it hurts so much for me to wake up actually shaking my pillow, hoping that dream I lose every night would tumble out.

A message to the people, of my kingdom and from beyond:

Stop with all this madness. What you’re all trying to succeed isn’t good. You’re destroying the earth and everything it’s composed of. Let me tell you all, there is no better feeling than singing with the earth. To harmonize with the movements of the rivers flow. To talk with the wind and hear her endless journeys throughout the world. If anybody really has a doubt on this just listen to the warm whispers of the mountains, none of them want you to continue spreading this “war” disease. This world is so majestic...  Do you really want to destroy all the things this earth has to offer?

Just a note to add, I know my way of looking at this may be a little childish and way over my head but it’s the only way I can look at it and not be discussed by the human race and it’s ridiculous strategies to achieve power over his same species.

Death

It’s the worst feeling. The world is spinning so fast and nothing will stop it for you to catch your breath. You have a familiar glaze, wet cheeks and scars with stories behind them waiting for somebody to notice your silent scream: “I am not ok”. At that moment death appears like an old friend.

           

Death is something so beautifully terrifying, so horribly fascinating. When madness takes over, death takes your hand and blows away the screams of the ones who don’t own a shadow.  It hugs your every curve and kisses your scars. It promises you happiness, eternal joy, no stress, no worries, no more tears… It promises you that you’ll never feel so alone in a crowded room, that claustrophobic feeling in a wide space will disappear, that fear towards the mirror will vanish. Those terrifying voices will turn into lullabies and at sleepless nights it will be your company. All of this I know for a fact, for it has held my hand and invited me to dance many times, but has slowly let me fall back and leaves me dancing alone to a silent melody.

           

Now I’m completely fine or at least that’s what I think, because the memory of deaths warm hugs still makes me shiver with curiosity. Before I was sure of my love for Gods most precious gift he has given me, I was completely destroyed and I didn’t want to be that way, but my diseases would pull me back every time I would try to fly. I wanted people to stop telling me I was pretty, nice, amazing or that I was as good as the rest of them. I wasn’t, and I honestly never will be because there will always be someone better out there. Nothing can change how worthless I felt, no matter how much I try to convince myself that I wasn’t. I’ve watched my friends leave my life. The worst part being that I felt like I deserved it. Every night, I watched the stars draw on the peaceful dark sky those wonderful and horrible memories, having flashbacks of what I’ve said and done. Asking myself what did I do to deserve that I treated myself as horribly as I do and why did I called death my savior. It feels so good yet it hurts so badly all at once. I heard the echoes of the people that meant so much to me say how much they loved me and my desperate sobs screaming at them to stop lying in response. Silly me. They loved me, they truly did, I just never loved myself.

           

I broke my chains with death. Nowadays I’m only terrified of the fact that one day I might miss its affections and warm kisses.  

But I’ll stay positive because like me, there are many more who had been deaths dance partner and have survived. All people that have passed through that, including me are all broken, damaged and surely not quite fixed yet. A lot of us have gone through hell, but you know what? We came back and stronger. We are warriors, and warriors fight.